A few years ago, I realized that my marriage must end.
It was unexpected, though looking back I can see it was inevitable. At the time, I thought I could keep the marriage together til our kids were grown. My mantra for several years had been "One Day At A Time" - like a recovering addict - just make it through today and worry about tomorrow tomorrow.
Near the end, my wife became violent, and her accusations against me got worse. I realized I was playing with fire.
During the divorce I found out my wife had BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder. I had never heard of BPD but was able to learn about it from a number of sources, and to use that understanding to take a different path, and end up with a better life for myself and my kids.
So what qualifies me to write about BPD and divorce? I'm not a lawyer or a psychologist. (I am an engineer, physical scientist, and businessman.) I don't claim to be an expert on personality disorders, or the law.
But I have been through this process myself. I'm now divorced, with primary custody of my kids, and they are doing great. I am rebuilding my life after the emotional and financial shock of a sudden and difficult divorce, and I have learned a lot which I hope can help others.
I have read a lot about BPD and family law, and in this blog I will suggest some resources that have helped me.
And I have had the opportunity to meet a number of others who have been through this process - ending a marriage with a BPD sufferer - through an online forum where I have participated.
My goal here is to provide information and thoughts which can be helpful to those going through a divorce from a BPD sufferer.
I also hope this can be a place for others to share their experiences and insights, so if you would like to contribute, let me know!
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