Saturday, February 5, 2011

Introduction

A few years ago, I realized that my marriage must end.

It was unexpected, though looking back I can see it was inevitable.  At the time, I thought I could keep the marriage together til our kids were grown.  My mantra for several years had been "One Day At A Time" - like a recovering addict - just make it through today and worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

Near the end, my wife became violent, and her accusations against me got worse.  I realized I was playing with fire.

During the divorce I found out my wife had BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder.  I had never heard of BPD but was able to learn about it from a number of sources, and to use that understanding to take a different path, and end up with a better life for myself and my kids.

So what qualifies me to write about BPD and divorce?  I'm not a lawyer or a psychologist.  (I am an engineer, physical scientist, and businessman.)  I don't claim to be an expert on personality disorders, or the law.

But I have been through this process myself.  I'm now divorced, with primary custody of my kids, and they are doing great.  I am rebuilding my life after the emotional and financial shock of a sudden and difficult divorce, and I have learned a lot which I hope can help others.

I have read a lot about BPD and family law, and in this blog I will suggest some resources that have helped me.

And I have had the opportunity to meet a number of others who have been through this process - ending a marriage with a BPD sufferer - through an online forum where I have participated.

My goal here is to provide information and thoughts which can be helpful to those going through a divorce from a BPD sufferer.

I also hope this can be a place for others to share their experiences and insights, so if you would like to contribute, let me know!

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